Reports 31st July

1st XI

Cheam’s hunt for a second consecutive promotion stuttered on Saturday as an immense all round performance from East Molesey’s Simon Barret limited them to a losing draw. Barret spent all but 3 overs on the pitch taking 3 for 70 from 23 overs and then scoring 152 as Molesey fell 40 short of the victory target. 

Losing the toss on another excellent Peaches Close wicket Cheam were asked to bat. As has become standard this year Cheam were fast out of the blocks with Houpapa and Duraisingham beginning the innings in a flurry of boundaries.  The Molesey bowlers tightened things up though and wickets duly followed.  Chris Salmons (91) came in and batted superbly well striking several elegant boundaries off of the front foot and being brutal on anything short.  A score of 300 plus was looking likely as Miller joined Salmons in a fifty partnership.  

It was just before lunch that off spinner Barret was introduced for what proved to be a long and decisive spell.  After being harshly treated by Miller initially Barret took his revenge having the captain well caught on the long on boundary for 42.  After lunch Molesey spread the field, at times only having 2 men in, which dried up the boundaries and reduced the run rate.  Batsmen came and went as fast runs were sort, the innings eventually finishing on 279 from 66 overs. 

In reply it was the Simon Barret show as the tall opener played one of the best innings seen at Peaches close for years.  Driving beautifully and powerful of the back foot he kept the score board moving despite a complete lack of support from his team mates.  Thankfully for Cheam the pitch began to spin and a testing spell from Tim Scott saw wickets falling at the other end. It quickly became a one wicket game but to Barret’s credit he stood firm and marshalled the tail before being caught on the deep square boundary with just 3 overs remaining.  With him went any hope of a Molesey victory and the game ended in an anti climatic draw. 

Cheam welcome Old Whits to Peaches Close on Saturday, in a return to the limited overs format, with both teams needing victory to re-ignite promotion hopes.

2nd XI

Welcome readers!  This week saw the 2's go to Cobham Avorians for a top vs bottom clash.  Following 'cricket week' the boys were tired and if i had a pound for every time i heard someone say 'I hate cricket' this week I'd be pretty well off and not need worry that a 99 ice cream no longer costs 99 pence.  I still can't get over that by the way.  That's like going into a 99p shop buying 5 products and being charge £7.50.  Anyway, enough on that there was a game of cricket.
 
Selection was its usual nonsense.  JP who met one of Claire Hopes mates in a random pub in Edinburgh wasn't about and Dylan was promoted.  In came Caddy on the back of his 50 last week and enter Simon Erser as a 'specialist fielder' to keep the dynamics in a mid on / mid off partnership with MJ in JPs absence.  Following the texts for the team i received the following reply from Caddy, "Yes mate, i'm in.  Thank you so much for picking me and giving me a chance, it means so much to have this opportunity.  I won't let you down.  thank you thank you thank you.  XXXXXXXXXXXXXX."  I little over the top i felt, but hey, we know he's in a relationship with Joe Mceldry and this week has clearly been a tough one for them both!
 
After a drive down the A3 then through the woods avoiding the bears and a strange man with an axe saw Cheam arrive and this picturesque ground.  Their umpire was very excited when he saw coxy arrive in a shirt and tie.  "Do i see a fellow umpire?" he said as he took hold of Coxy's hand leading him to the 'umpires' dressing room.  We then found out a pitch hadn't been cut so out came the lawn mower and roller to give it 5 minutes of preparation.  The umpires came out to 'supervise' the toss.  I'm assuming once upon a time someone called 'heads' it landed on 'tails' then a fight took place.  Anyway Cheam lost the toss (Regs) and funnily enough on a deck with 5 mins prep elected to bowl.  Umpires with two quick worries.  1)  Any full toss over waist height is a final warning and then you're off.  2)  Light is a law!!
 
The crowd were rolling in.  MJ brought the family down, Dribs' folks made the journey once the sun came out.  OD's dad brought the dog and Caddy's old man popped down to watch his sons 2nd XI debut.
 
MJ and Caddy walked out with purpose and got off to a good start.  After 8 over Cheam were 40-0 with MJ on 38 and Caddy yet to get off the mark.  Eventually he did hit a full toss through mid wicket to get off the mark.  He raised his bat in delight, wiped a tear away and 3 balls later was out LBW.  MOD and MJ steadied things with MJ reaching his 50 in no time at all, his lucky hair cut in the morning seemed to be doing the trick!  Meanwhile on the boundary the talk of uni was going on.  Chunk was asked what he was going to study.  "Sports Physiology because that what Funky does, I want to be just like him." was his reply.  The obsession was getting a little much when he said he was going try and bat left handed just like Funky too.  After some investigation it turns out the Erser's have a garden shed which Chunk uses for 'private time.'  Simon admitted to going down there and seeing a shrine to Funky with newspaper cuttings, photo's and even a life size inflatable doll.  The game was moving along nicely and with MJ on 96 clipped the ball to mid-wicket, the fielder dived, Marcus ran, MOD didn't, then kindly stepped out of his crease sacrificing himself.  After the game there was lots of "sorry mate" coming from both sides.  Enter Circus.  He made a quick 25 whilst MJ moved onto 129 before Circus was out following a questionable stumping decision and MJ out caught in the deep.  Chunk made a 3rd ball duck before walking back throwing his kit on the floor saying "funky will never talk to me again!"  Cheam declared on 233-6 after 45 overs.
 
Out in the field Cheam took the old ball and opened up with Smokey and the white Monty!  Smokey should have had their opener out first ball but the umpire gave it not out for some reason.  Max was turning it square and in the 4th over Cheam got the break through.   Max with a flighted delivery saw the batsman clip the ball towards mid on.  Simon Erser like a coiled spring ran to his left the dived full stretch plucking the ball one handed out of the air.  He even had time to shout, "This is how you do it son!"  The crowd went wild!  Their opener decided that as the football season is soon upon us got some pre season practice in kicking everything Max bowled at him away.  Eventually he was out LBW by forgetting to use his bat at a straight one.  Smokey at the other end was appealing every other ball in the vain the umpire may actually give one at some point.  Eventually he did with a ball reversing like previously only Waqar could do!  Men were around the bat and wickets were falling at regular intervals.  One ball was cut square of the wicket, Beefy ran to his side then escorted the ball to the boundary.  Basically, Max took 6-40, Smokey got 2 there was a run out and Drib's wrapped it up to bowl Cobham out for 81.  Job done! 
 
The league table looks as follows.  Purley 121 points.  Cheam 98 points.  BoE 79 points.
 
Next week Cheam play Camberley in 50 over cricket.  The "Baby" award went to Chunk after his 3rd ball duck and his Dad's grab. 
 
Man of the Match this week goes to MJ.  A classy 129 means that's his 2nd ton of the year against Cobham. 
 
In other news Ashley Cole has said he wants to leave Chelsea and move to Real Madrid to be with his 'secret' partner Cristiano Ronaldo.  Buy your shares in baby oil quick!!!