Reports 26th June

Round 8 of this seasons fixtures saw Old Ruts come to 'Rome' on the hottest day of the year.  In fact, we played them 1st game of the season on the coldest and wettest day of the year!  The opposition turned up just before half 12, claiming to have got lost.  Did nobody tell them all roads lead to Rome?!

Team selection this week gave Circus and Blackman some serious headaches.  Gardener grooming ball boys and girls at Wimbledon, JP at a relatives, Mr Incredible in St Tropez, Beefy working the route 406 bus route for women and Dylan representing a Northumberland side of some description.  Call ups for Erser, the ever dependable Machine, Dave Henry and even Dr James Ovens answered his phone during a midweek assessment with Nick Blackman!

The warm up was a sign of things to come in the field.  Direct hits left, right and centre during a bit of 'two stump' left the opposition hiding in the changing room in fear.  Blackman even broke a stump bowling during the warm up.  Marcus brought his IPOD and had some true classics to get the boys pumped up ("so nice to have some proper music" said Smokey).  Machine had to change a fuse, the heat was causing some problems and he needed a little 're-programming!'  Old Ruts won the toss and elected to bat on a regulation Cheam strip looking familiar to a section of the M25.  All was looking good.

Blackman, with his new fashion statement on his left knee was so pumped up the Doc gave him something to relax him slightly, bowled the first over.  Their opening batsman could not hit anything in the bowlers half and their other opener… well… couldn't hit anything.  8 over's went by with little to shout about.  Circus and MJ had a brief chat before making one of the most bizarre bowling changes ever.  MJ up the hill.  Can he bowl?  Can he make it up the hill?  These were only a few questions floating around.  2nd ball, MJ got one to through the batsman, middle stump out the ground.  Blackman cried, the rest of the team fell to the floor in shock leaving MJ celebrating alone.  Number 3 came in, and he and their other opener had a contest as to who could play and miss the most.  It was close but their opener just about won!  MJ bowled 4 over's until Smokey came up the hill.  16 over's on the bounce in the blazing sun was no mean feat picking up a couple of wickets in the process.  Crouchie replaced Blackman after the 1st drinks break and bowled a tidy line to batsman who seemed pretty incapable of getting the ball off the square.  In fairness it was pretty dull, block 5, swing at the 6th and somehow inside edges missed the stumps or simply evaded the fielders but the run rate was less that 4 an over on a rapid outfield.  Clouds came over and it got a little dark, but no sign of the Prince of Darkness.  Maybe he was at Sutton?  Old Ruts declared on 191-7 off 53.5 over's. 

With 11 batsman in the side the batting order was harder to sort than you would think, but after tea MJ and the Doc opened up.  Their opening bowler from the bottom end ran in from behind the railway line like Usain Bolt and bowled a tidy line getting the Doc early on.  Crouchie went in suffering from heat exhausting and a lack of Class A substance in his system looked rusty.  Swinging at anything outside his off stump, eventually snicking out.  Circus joined MJ at the crease at 30 - 2 with a lot of work to do.  They saw Cheam through to drinks with some sensible batting, along with Circus smashing one into Peaches Close!  Drinks came a went.  Tailon making yet another 'Dicky Special' by forgetting to add water to the squash!  MJ went early on attempting a slog sweep given out LBW and suddenly the pressure was on.  Callum came and went, Dave Henry came in and actually played a couple of defensive shots Sandy had taught him.  'Plant foot, stick out bat' Circus could hear him saying!  Didn't last long though, one in his half, front foot out the way and whack.  One bounce 4.  Circus, not wishing to be outdone hit their off spinner over his head for 6 into the railway.  'New ball please'.  With the run rate at 5 an over the game was in the bag, Circus looking good, and Henry playing a great supporting innings, what could go wrong?  Henry leading edge, caught and bowled, enter Machine.  The heat must have done something funny and caused a short circuit.  Normally smashing it over long on and cow corner, then running like Forest Gump between the wickets didn't happen, instead he was playing for the draw.  Circus stood at the other end, blood pressure rising every delivery reminded him of the reason for his promotion up the order.  Circus reached his 50, before a slog sweep got a much needed boundary.  Circus attempted the same shot again, this time being caught on the boundary.  With the captain out it was up to the lower order to finish the job.  Dribs ran past one and was bowled, Machine tried a 2nd to mid on who was 15 yards away when releasing the ball was run out by half the track, and Erser elbowed one onto the stumps, leaving Blackman and Smokey to block out for the draw.  Old ruts keeper, who opened the bat and scored 25 runs from 26 over (Never knew Toby Aiston had a brother) said to Blackman, "you better be good after the amount of s*£t you gave me."  He must have the wrong person!  Anyway Cheam snatched a draw from the hands of victory leaving everyone thoroughly frustrated.  Only themselves to blame and nothing practice won't resolve. 

Anyway, League table looks like this.  Purley 81 points.  Cheam 60 points.  Pyrford 57 points.  Old Ruts 47.  Promotion still in Cheam's hands, and with Purley and Pyrford in the next 2 weeks a big step could be taken. 

Man of the Match. Smokey.  16 over's in the heat, couple of wickets and blocking out for the draw,  he must be the best number 11 in the league!   

A big well done to Warren our umpire for completing the Richmond 10km in the morning then doing a sterling job from the top end.  Tom Cox scored, and more amazingly stayed sober throughout.  The AA meetings must be going well.

Next week Purley at home.  There are still some tickets available from the Cheam CC Box Office, but we are expecting a sell out!

In other news, Blackman's girlfriend came back from holiday last night.  Leave him for a few days, some 'catching up' is required!!! 

For those of you interested I shall be compiling my match reports and putting them into a book at the end of the season.  I have a large printing company waiting for my signature, just have to negotiate a figure.  Get your orders in early!